Ambiguous Grief: How to Cope with Unseen and Unresolved Loss

By Growth Era Counseling & Wellness

Grief doesn’t always follow a clear path.

When we hear the word grief, we often picture a response to death—a loss that is tangible and defined. But grief can also show up in more confusing, less visible ways. This is what we call ambiguous grief, a type of grief that arises when there is no closure, clarity, or finality to the loss.

If you’ve been struggling with a sense of loss that doesn’t seem to “make sense” or doesn’t fit into a typical narrative of grief, you’re not alone. At Growth Era Counseling & Wellness, we hold space for all forms of grief, including the kind that goes unseen.

What is Ambiguous Grief?

Ambiguous grief occurs when the loss is uncertain, undefined, or ongoing. It may involve:

• A loved one who is physically present but emotionally unavailable (due to dementia, addiction, or mental illness, etc.)

• Estrangement from a family member or friend

• Divorce or a breakup that leaves lingering emotional ties

• Infertility or pregnancy loss

• Losing a sense of identity, purpose, or future you once envisioned

This type of grief can feel isolating because the world around you may not recognize it as “real” grief. You may feel like you don’t have the right to grieve, yet your heart tells a different story.

The Emotional Experience of Ambiguous Grief

Ambiguous grief can be uniquely painful. There may be no clear ending. You may find yourself experiencing:

• Confusion and longing

• Guilt or self-blame

• Anger and resentment

• Hope and hopelessness—sometimes all at once

It’s a grief that lingers in the background, surfacing in unexpected moments and making it hard to move forward or make peace.

How to Cope with Ambiguous Grief

While ambiguous grief may feel unresolved, there are ways to care for yourself through it. Here are a few supportive steps:

1. Name the Grief

Start by acknowledging that what you’re experiencing is grief. Naming it validates your emotions and opens the door to healing.

2. Allow Yourself to Feel

There is no “right” way to grieve. Let yourself feel whatever comes—sadness, anger, relief, confusion—without shame or judgment.

3. Create Your Own Rituals

Ambiguous grief often lacks the closure of formal ‘rituals’. You can create your own healing practices: light a candle, journal, plant a tree, or write a letter. Rituals give form to feelings and help you honor what’s been lost.

4. Seek Meaning, Not Closure

Closure may not be possible, but you can find meaning. Therapy can help you explore how this loss has shaped your life and what it means to live alongside it with intention and care.

How Therapy Can Help

Working with a therapist who specializes in grief offers a safe, supportive space to process ambiguous loss, especially when others may not understand what you’re going through.

At Growth Era Counseling & Wellness, we support individuals navigating all forms of grief, including the complex emotions of ambiguous loss. Therapy can help you:

• Make sense of your experience without needing to “fix” or finalize it

• Reconnect with your identity and values when grief has disrupted your sense of self

• Build emotional resilience and self-compassion

• Integrate the loss into your life in a meaningful, empowered way

• Feel seen, validated, and supported through the ups and downs of healing

Grief is not something to “get over.” It’s something we learn to live with, in a way that honors both the loss and your growth.

You Deserve Compassion—Even When the Grief is Unseen

You grief is valid, even if no one else can see it. Whether your loss is clear or confusing, defined or ongoing, you don’t have to carry it alone.

If you’re navigating ambiguous grief and are ready to feel supported, we’re here to walk beside you—one step, one breath, one session at a time.