Disconnect in order to Reconnect: How to Reduce Screen Time and “Doom-Scrolling.”
By: Growth Era Counseling & Wellness [Molly Smith, LPC]
The Age of Connection (and Distraction)
We live in a time where we are able to connect with anyone or anything at the drop of a hat. A small box in our pocket gives us the opportunity to shop, chat, post, stream, or—as it is known lately—“doom scroll.”
There are many reasons why we may find ourselves caught up in social media or other apps:
We are longing for connection, and our phones simulate this with little to no effort.
We want a distraction, and our phones offer instant gratification.
We are attempting to ease boredom through quick bursts of attention-grabbing media.
We feel burnt out, stressed, fatigued, and our phones offer a sense of comfort.
We use it as a means to avoid or procrastinate tasks that are not desirable, or situations that bring on anxiety, fear, or grief.
The Truth About Our Phones
The truth is—scrolling on our phones is only a temporary burst of dopamine, a signal to the brain that offers a brief sense of joy or fulfillment that will quickly fade away.
Another Truth—Our phones aren't the problem; it is a solution to coping with stress, managing boredom, reducing or avoiding unwanted feelings or situations. It can be challenging to break this habit; especially living in a world where our phones are necessary for most tasks.
We won't ask that you get rid of your phone altogether, but we do want to offer realistic strategies and tips for reducing screen time and helping you feel more connected to self and others around you.
10 Tips for Reducing Screen Time and Getting Away from Doom Scrolling
1. Make a To-Do List: Start Small
One reason we may use our phones more frequently is in avoiding or procrastinating tasks we deem “undesirable.” Things like anxiety, depression, or ADHD can make starting or completing tasks seem daunting, overwhelming, or even impossible. Make a to-do list, starting with the easiest task and continue to list to things that feel harder or take more time. Often, if we start some and get our “foot in the door” it can lend itself to completing more tasks and feeling more accomplished.
2. Try a 30-Minute Reset
Going along with number one, simplifying tasks or situations that evoke worry or fear can assist us in getting them done, especially if we are in the habit of distracting ourselves. If making a list seems too difficult, or you are unsure where to start, set a timer for 30 minutes. In those 30 minutes, see what you can get done. Maybe it's cleaning the breakfast dishes that got left out after a chaotic morning, throwing a load of laundry in that's been piling up, or vacuuming up one room of your house. The only rule is that for those 30 minutes, you cannot touch your phone! You can gradually change the amount of time you use once you get in the habit
3. Get Up and Get Moving
Research suggests that exercise and movement can release dopamine naturally. This can be as simple as a walk outside in the fresh air, a 20 minutes exercise routine a few times per week, or simply chasing the kids around in the yard before dinner. When we get up and get moving, we can still engage in the “distraction” or “dopamine hit” that the phone brings, but in a meaningful way that helps us feel more connected to ourselves, others, and nature.
4. Use Pen and Paper
Having our calendar, to-do lists, recipes, etc on our phones is both convenient and simple. It can also make it easy to stray away from our original plan and end up down the rabbit hole of social media. One minute we are checking our to-do list, the next we find ourselves watching videos of how start our own micro-bakery. The internet can be great for learning new recipes or hobbies, but it makes it too easy to slip back into mindless surfing. If you find a recipe you like, print it out or write it down. Then you can cook or bake without the temptation of your phone. Keep a written calendar or to-do list on your fridge. This also makes it easy to check without having to pick up your device.
5. Set Firm and Clear Boundaries
It can be difficult to change a habit that has served us for so long. We can start by setting a clear boundary instead of going in “all or nothing” because with this type of thinking, we may get frustrated easily or unintentionally set ourselves up for not meeting our own expectations. Some ways you can start setting boundaries with your phone include:
Not using it within the first hour you wake up. This can give time to orient and start your day being more mindful rather than running to that instant hit of dopamine discussed earlier
Eating meals without scrolling or watching TV. When we do this, we can often “zone out” or dissociate. If we eat a meal with a friend or partner, the phone can disconnect us from each other which reinforces unhelpful habits of reaching for inauthentic means of connection.
Putting your phone away or turning the TV off an hour or so before bed. Research suggests that using different forms of media before bed can affect the quality and quantity of sleep, leaving us feeling restless and fatigued in the morning (even if we “slept for 8 hours.”)
6. Keep Your Phone in Another Room
If the temptation is too difficult to manage, keeping your phone in a separate room can be a great hack for limiting screen time because it increases the effort needed to access it. If you are someone who needs to have your phone available, you can use “do not disturb,” adding only those essential to get through this safeguard. This way, you can still receive important calls, but won't hear the “dings” and “buzzes” of nonessential notifications. If you want to go a step further, there are also apps that will lock you out of other apps after a certain amount of time!
7. Call or Visit a Loved One
Texting and messaging are a great way to stay connected with friends and family when we are busy with work, significant others, and the chaos of life in general. It doesn't hurt to send a quick “hello” or “thinking of you” when we are going through the motions day to day. It does, however, impact the true connections we have with people because nothing can replace genuine human interaction. It may take some planning ahead, but it can be helpful to schedule a time to have a phone call or a coffee date with a loved one to combat loneliness, stress, and disconnection.
8. Track Your Usage
“It's only 30 minutes, that's not bad.”
It can be easy to minimize or misinterpret how long we truly spend watching TV, scrolling, or streaming. Putting in the effort to track time spent or patterns of use can bring our awareness to these patterns. It also helps increase accountability in maintaining boundaries we set to reduce screen time. You may be surprised at how much time can be lost without realizing it!
9. Practice Urge Surfing
Urges and cravings can happen at any time for different reasons and situations. Using our phones becomes habitual, taking it out of our pocket to check the time or reply to a text. Other times, we may be mid task and all of a sudden reach for our phone without thinking. One method to practice in managing an urge or impulse to check our phones is called “urge-surfing.” It is often used with cravings or managing difficult emotions, but can be fitting for any circumstance where we want to address impulsive or difficult behaviors. When you get the “urge” instead of acting on it, you “ride it out” like a wave. Leaning into it with curiosity instead of judgment and retraining your brain that it can manage impulses instead of giving into to the temptation.
10. Practice Being Alone With Yourself
This tip is saved for last as it is one of the more difficult strategies to employ. Being alone with ourselves can be foreign. It may be difficult to sit in silence especially when struggling with mental health concerns such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, and so many others. Seeking therapy and connecting with the right therapist can jump start a journey of self-reflection, and offer a safe space in learning how to “be alone” with ourselves. Start with 5 minutes and build your way up to longer time frames just simply “being.” If you want to learn more about this, check out our other blog [Mindfulness for Anxiety, Grief & Burnout: From “Mind Full” to Mindful Healing].
Final Thoughts
If you're ready to change your phone habits, start with just one or two tips. It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. Finding a healthy balance can help you feel more grounded, more connected, and more in control of your time.