5 Therapist-Recommended Ways to Regulate Emotions Without Avoiding Them

By Growth Era Counseling & Wellness

Many of us were never taught how to deal with emotions in a healthy, supportive way.
Instead, we were told to:

• “Calm down.”

• “Stop being so sensitive.”

• “Toughen up.”

• “Don’t cry over that.”

So it’s no surprise that when strong emotions rise up—sadness, anger, anxiety, shame—we try to push them away or shut them down as quickly as possible. And yet, ignoring your feelings doesn’t make them disappear. It just buries them deeper.

At Growth Era Counseling & Wellness, we help clients explore a different path: one where emotions are not judged or silenced, but acknowledged, understood, and gently regulated.

Here are five therapist-approved ways to regulate emotions without shutting them down.

1. Name What You’re Feeling—Without Needing to Fix It

One of the most powerful steps in emotional regulation is simply naming what’s happening.

“I feel overwhelmed.”
“I’m noticing sadness showing up.”
“Anger is here right now.”

When you name a feeling, you bring it into the light of awareness. This can reduce its intensity and give you a little space to respond with curiosity, rather than react from panic or shame.

Tip: Use a feeling wheel or emotion chart if words are hard to find. Emotional vocabulary builds emotional awareness.

2. Breathe With Your Body, Not Against It

Emotions show up in the body first. That tight chest? Clenched jaw? Shaky hands? Those are signs your nervous system is on high alert.

Try this simple grounding breath technique:

• Inhale slowly for 4 seconds

• Hold for 4 seconds

• Exhale for 6–8 seconds

• Repeat 3–5 times

This activates your parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and digest” response), helping you calm your body while staying emotionally present.

 3. Validate Your Emotions Instead of Arguing With Them

Most people try to “logic” their way out of a feeling:

“I shouldn’t be this upset.”
“There’s no reason to cry.”
“This is so silly.”

But your feelings don’t need a courtroom—they need compassion.

Try saying to yourself:

“It makes sense that I’m feeling this way, given what I’ve been through.”
“This feeling is valid, even if I don’t fully understand it yet.”
“I don’t need to explain this away. I can just let it be here.”

Validation isn’t agreement—it’s acknowledgment. And that’s what emotions really want: to be seen and felt.

4. Move the Emotion Through Your Body

Feelings are energy. If they have nowhere to go, they stay stuck.

Try gentle movement to help your body process what you're feeling:

• A walk (especially outdoors)

• Stretching or yoga

• Tapping or self-soothing touch (like hand over heart or rubbing your arms)

You don’t have to force the emotion out—just create space for it to move through.

5. Let the Emotion Speak—Then Close the Loop

Journaling is a powerful way to let emotions have their say without spiraling into rumination.

Ask your emotion:

• “What are you here to show me?”

• “What do you need right now?”

After writing, thank the feeling for showing up and gently close the journal. This tells your mind and body: I heard you. You’re not being ignored. But we don’t have to stay here forever.

Regulation Is Not The Same As Repression

Let’s be clear: regulating your emotions is not the same as repressing them.

• Repression says: “This doesn’t matter. Stuff it down.”

• Regulation says: “This matters. Let’s meet it with care.”

The goal isn’t to “get rid of” your feelings—it’s to relate to them differently. Therapy helps you build that relationship with your emotions: one rooted in respect, safety, and trust.

Therapy Can Help You Understand and Regulate Your Emotions

At Growth Era Counseling & Wellness, we specialize in helping individuals who feel overwhelmed by their emotional experiences—or who were never given a safe space to feel growing up.

In therapy, you can:

• Learn what your emotional triggers are and why they happen

• Practice grounding and self-regulation tools that actually work for you

• Heal emotional patterns rooted in trauma, people-pleasing, or burnout

• Develop a more compassionate and empowering relationship with your feelings

You Don’t Have to Silence Your Feelings to Be Okay

You’re not “too emotional.” You’re not broken.
You’re just human, and your emotions are part of you.

Ready to feel more steady, more grounded, and more in tune with yourself?

Reach out today to begin your therapy journey. You deserve support that meets you where you are—with compassion, not judgment.