When Motherhood Feels Heavier Than Expected: A Letter to Postpartum Depression
By: Growth Era Counseling & Wellness
Dear Postpartum Depression,
You’re subtle.
You didn’t arrive with flashing warning signs or announce yourself loudly. You waited. You let me believe I was safe. You let my guard down. And then, quietly, you began to take up space.
At first, you showed up as a few hard days — exhaustion, irritability, tears that felt out of proportion. Then the days stretched into weeks. The weeks into months. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, you convinced me that this was just who I was now. That something about me was broken.
You told me that if I were stronger, more grateful, more faithful, more disciplined — if I ate better, exercised more, lost the baby weight faster — I wouldn’t feel this way. You made me believe this was a personal failure instead of an illness. So I stayed quiet. I carried shame where I should have been met with care.
You whispered that I was alone.
That I was a burden.
That everyone else was coping better than I was.
And for a while, I believed you.
I barely recognized myself. My body moved through the motions, but my heart felt distant, disconnected. Joy felt muted. Rage sometimes showed up where sadness couldn’t. I loved my children deeply — and yet felt painfully far away from myself while caring for them.
Then one moment changed everything.
I was lying in bed, the house still heavy with darkness, when I heard my children laughing in the next room. And something inside me softened. Not with guilt — but with clarity. A quiet truth rose up that you couldn’t silence:
I want to feel better. I want help. And that matters.
That single thought became a lifeline.
It gave me the courage to speak — first to my partner, then to my doctor. Words poured out that had been trapped for months. Tears followed. You were still there, but I could finally see you more clearly.
You lied to me.
You told me I was weak — but I was exhausted.
You told me I was failing — but I was struggling with postpartum depression.
You told me I was alone — but I wasn’t.
And while I feel grief for what you took — the moments I couldn’t fully access, the memories clouded by survival — I am choosing not to meet that grief with self-blame. I am choosing compassion.
Because I didn’t choose you.
And I don’t have to face you alone.
Healing hasn’t been instant. Some days are still heavy. But now I understand that recovery isn’t about willpower — it’s about support. It’s about learning how to care for my nervous system, how to name what I’m feeling, and how to let others help carry what was never meant to be carried alone.
You may still try to speak — but I no longer believe everything you say.
Sincerely,
A mom learning to be gentler with herself
What Postpartum Depression Can Look Like
Postpartum depression doesn’t look the same for everyone — and it doesn’t always show up right after birth. Symptoms can appear weeks or even months later, and may include:
Persistent sadness, emptiness, or numbness
Irritability, rage, or feeling easily overwhelmed
Excessive guilt or feelings of inadequacy as a parent
Withdrawal from loved ones
Difficulty bonding with your baby
Changes in sleep or appetite beyond typical newborn fatigue
Anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or constant worry
Feeling disconnected from yourself or your body
Thoughts of wanting to escape or disappear
If any of this feels familiar, please know: you are not failing — your nervous system is overwhelmed, and help is available.
How Therapy Can Help with Postpartum Depression
Healing from postpartum depression isn’t about “fixing” yourself — it’s about being supported while your mind and body recover.
At Growth Era Counseling & Wellness, LLC, we offer therapy in Connecticut in a safe, compassionate, and supportive space where healing and growth can unfold. Our work focuses on helping clients:
Regulate their nervous systems after chronic stress and overwhelm
Process identity shifts that come with motherhood
Reduce shame and self-blame
Build emotional resilience and self-compassion
Strengthen communication and support systems
Feel grounded, present, and more like themselves again
Therapy can be a place where you don’t have to explain or minimize how hard this is. A place where your experience is believed. A place where you can heal at your own pace.
You Deserve Support
Postpartum depression doesn’t get the final word.
With the right support, healing is possible. Balance can return. Growth can happen — gently, sustainably, and without shame.
If you’re in Connecticut and looking for support during the postpartum season, Growth Era Counseling & Wellness is here to walk alongside you.
You don’t have to do this alone.