You Don’t Have to Find the “Why” to Heal From Trauma
By: Growth Era Counseling & Wellness
Healing Trauma: You Don’t Have to Chase the Snake
“Imagine being bitten by a snake and instead of trying to help yourself heal and recover from the poison, you try to catch the snake—to find out the reason it bit you or to prove that you didn’t deserve that.”
This metaphor powerfully captures how many people respond to trauma. After painful, overwhelming, or life-altering experiences, it’s common to become consumed with why it happened. You may replay events repeatedly, searching for answers, assigning blame to yourself, or trying to make sense of something that felt deeply unfair.
While these reactions are human, they can quietly keep you stuck—focused on the source of the pain rather than on healing from its effects.
When Trauma Keeps the Nervous System on High Alert
Trauma doesn’t just live in our thoughts. It impacts the nervous system and the body. Even long after the event has passed, your system may remain in survival mode, responding as if the danger is still present.
This can show up as:
Anxiety or panic
Hypervigilance or feeling constantly on edge
Emotional numbness or disconnection
Intrusive memories or flashbacks
Difficulty sleeping or concentrating
Challenges with trust, boundaries, or relationships
You may know logically that you’re safe now, yet your body tells a different story. This is not a personal failure—it’s a trauma response.
Why Focusing on “Why” Can Keep You Stuck
Many trauma survivors feel an intense need to understand what happened or to prove that they didn’t deserve it. While meaning-making has its place, focusing on explanations too early can be exhausting and retraumatizing.
Trauma often doesn’t have a satisfying “why.” Trying to catch the snake—seeking justification, closure, or validation from the source of harm—can pull energy away from what you truly need: care, safety, and recovery.
Healing begins when the focus shifts from the cause of the wound to treating the wound itself.
Trauma-Informed Therapy: Treating the Poison, Not Chasing the Snake
Trauma-informed therapy is not about forcing you to relive painful experiences or pushing you to “get over it.” Instead, it prioritizes safety, choice, and pacing.
In therapy, healing often begins with:
Helping your nervous system regulate and feel safer
Building grounding and coping skills
Reconnecting with your body, emotions, and sense of control
Reducing shame, self-blame, and guilt
Creating space for processing trauma when and if you’re ready
Rather than asking, “Why did this happen?” therapy gently asks, “What do you need now?”
Over time, this approach helps reduce the emotional and physical impact of trauma, allowing you to move forward with greater stability and self-compassion.
You Are Not Broken—You Are Responding to Pain
One of the most damaging effects of trauma is the belief that something is wrong with you. Trauma-informed care recognizes that your reactions make sense in the context of what you’ve been through.
Healing is not about fixing yourself—it’s about supporting your system as it learns that the danger has passed.
How Growth Era Counseling & Wellness Can Help
At Growth Era Counseling & Wellness, we provide trauma-informed therapy for adults who are ready to focus on healing rather than self-blame. Therapy is collaborative, compassionate, and centered on your unique experience.
We offer telehealth therapy for adults in Connecticut, making support accessible and flexible—especially if you’re balancing work, caregiving, or emotional exhaustion. Whether your trauma is recent or long-standing, you deserve a space where your pain is taken seriously and your healing is prioritized.
You Deserve Healing, Not Just Understanding
You don’t have to chase the snake to justify your pain. You don’t have to prove that it hurt. What happened mattered—and so does your recovery.
If trauma is still impacting your daily life, relationships, or sense of safety, therapy can help you begin healing at your own pace.
Reach out to Growth Era Counseling & Wellness today to schedule a consultation and take the next step toward healing.